Love and Caring: Being Careful About Love

Posted by David Zinger on May 31, 2006 · 3 Comments

I have wrestled with the use of the word love in Strength Based Leadership.

I was told by an executive at a large corporation to not use the word love during a keynote address. As she said, “we don’t use the word love around here, it is not part of our corporate culture.”

In response to that, I changed the references in this blog from love to caring. After further reflection, I have decided to return to the primary usage of the word love. I have also decided to focus this blog more on leveraging Strength Based Leadership to enhance employee engagement. In my vocabulary love is a stronger more engaged word than caring.

Could you imagine someone proposing a marriage engagement by saying, “I care for you, will you marry me?” The proposal lacks a spirit of full engagement.

I am comfortable with both terms – love and caring. Are you?

Here are two thoughts about caring and love from my favorite pithy blog, Jack/Zen. I love the title of this blog as my oldest son is Jack and Jack’s number one signature strength is to love and be loved. I also appreciate Zen as it asks us to be engaged in whatever we do wherever we are.

Caring
Most people do not care about others. Caring is not about us, our needs, our success. It is about the other. And in authentic care, there is no confusion, only clarity.

Love
Love is one of those human experiences that gets redefined along life’s path, whether we embrace or resist redefinition. Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck in “Nothing Special” offers one of the simplest and provocative definitions of love, as awareness.

What are your thoughts about love and caring in the context of work? Here are 4 questions to foster your thinking and feeling about love and caring:

Do you love your work?
Do you love the people you work with?
Do you bring what you love to what you do?
Are you care-full at work (full of care) or care-less (ready to resign)?

I would love to read your perspective and I encourage you to post a comment. As Kahlil Gibran wrote, work is love made visible.

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Respect

Posted by David Zinger on May 29, 2006 · 2 Comments

We confide in our strength, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, without fearing it. (Thomas Jefferson)

There has been much work in Manitoba on respectful workplaces. Here is the respectful workplace definition from the Manitoba Federation of Labour Occupational Health Centre:

A respectful workplace supports the physical, psychological and social well-being of all employees. In a respectful workplace employees are valued, communication is polite, and courteous people are treated as they wish to be treated, conflict is addressed in a positive and respectful manner, disrespectful behaviour and harassment are addressed.

David Sirota has found that 63 percent of employees who do not feel treated with respect intend to leave their organization within 2 years.

In addition, respect decreases as you get closer to front line employees. About 50 percent of senior-level managers feel they are shown a great deal of respect, decreasing to only 25 percent for supervisors and 20 percent for non-management employees.

Much of this lack of respect is due to management’s indifference or the unwillingness go out of their way to demonstrate respect.

Common courtesy and basic civility can set a foundation of respect. Here are 8 simple methods Sirota outlines to demonstrate respect:

Recognizing employees for their accomplishments and providing them with the freedom to use their judgment

Soliciting, listening to, and acting on work-related ideas from employees, such as input on how to get the work done

Encouraging innovation and ideas on new and better ways of doing things

Providing employees with helpful feedback and coaching on how to perform more effectively

Valuing people as individuals, and giving them a sense of being included

Appreciating diverse perspectives, ideas, and work styles

Encouraging full expression of ideas without fear of negative consequences

Listening to, and fairly handling, employees’ complaints

Visit www.sirota.com to read more about his work on respect.

In addition, click here to read an array of engaging quotations on respect.

Respect a man, and he will do all the more. (John Wooden)

Images by Chris Campbell (Respect Feb 4, 2005/Flower May 17, 2006).

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Spirituality: A sense of purpose

Posted by David Zinger on May 1, 2006 · 4 Comments

My fifth signature strength and the final profile in this series is spirituality and a sense of purpose. The Values in Action inventory defines spirituality as: having coherent beliefs about a higher purpose, the meaning of life, and the meaning of the universe.

I am not sure I operate at such a high level of belief. My spirituality is less about something I wear on my sleeve or practice on Sundays and more a pervasive sense of caring and love with a desire to contribute to others.

I took the leafy picture on this post a year ago. I was trying to capture the shadow of the front window reflected through our back door. Just as I was about to take the shot, my son Luke walked into the frame and ruined the picture.

Or so I thought.

After a closer examination of the picture I was thrilled at how his shadow outline was filled with fern leaves. Now remember, as you look at this shot, Luke is standing behind me!

This is how I experience my spirituality — the living part of me connected to something greater than myself that is standing behind me (I bet you now see why it has taken me so long to write this post — I feel shy and somewhat reticent to make any strong declarative statements on this topic).

I appreciate the discussion of Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz on spiritual energy. Spiritual energy is derived from connecting to deeply held values and a purpose beyond one’s self-interest. As they state: we become fully engaged only when we care deeply and when we feel that what we are doing really matters. Purpose is what lights us up, floats our boats, feeds our souls.

I have had a difficult time writing this post. I feel my spirituality strongly but I don’t want to be perceived as flaky and I don’t want to have you think I am suggesting it is the way for you to be. I was born, baptized, and confirmed a Catholic but my spirituality has only a loose connection to my religion.

As a former Catholic I feel comfortable with confessions. I am a bedroom Buddhist.

Before you think this is something kinky, let me explain. I often read books on Buddhist psychology before I go to sleep. I am enriched by authors ranging from Pema Chodron and Thich Nhat Hahn to Jon Kabat-Zinn. I appreciate their insight, encouragement, and guidance to live more mindfully in the moment.

I have a quiet gentle spiritual nature and it is a quality I keep fostering more fully. I am like this baby sea turtle – the turtle was smaller than a golf ball. I found the turtle on the beach in Puerto Vallarta. It was going the wrong way. Instead of heading to the ocean, guided by the moonlight it was headed inland distracted by all the lights of the city. It is so easy to lose our bearing and head towards the light when we should be heading towards the sea. Spirituality is what guides me to plunge into the waves of relationships, connections, contributions, and playfulness. My wife and daughter gave the little turtle a helping hand and released it in the ocean.

Martin Seligman concluded Authentic Happiness with a discussion of the meaningful life. He stated the meaningful life is “using your signature strengths in the service of something larger than you are.” To me, this is a fine definition of leadership.

I sincerely hope the profiles of my 5 strengths went beyond self-interested navel gazing to encouraging you to more fully understand and leverage your personal 5 signature strengths in the service of others.