Mountains, Subways, and Offices
By David Zinger on Jan 19, 2007 in David Zinger
The brotherhood of the rope stretches from mountains to subways and offices. Although the brotherhood of the rope concept applied to mountain climbers I believe we can all connect with a rope of caring for others.
Here are two examples of the brotherhood in action. One is public while the other came to the surface during a coaching conversation with a participant in one of my coaching workshops.
The public hero was Wesley Autrey, a construction worker who rescued a student who had fallen onto the tracks at a New York subway station.
Autrey jumped onto the tracks and rolled with Cameron Hollopeter into the trough between the rails at 137th Street station just as a train was coming into the station. Two cars passed over the men before stopping just inches above them. Autrey has received many accolades for his effort.
The more private connection occurred during a course I conducted on coaching skills for leaders. One of the very experienced managers asked how you get someone to be coached who does not want to be coached. I said, “let’s turn this question into a practice session and I will coach you and the other attendees will get a chance to witness a session.” He agreed.
To be honest, I anticipated based on his initial comments that he had given up on this marginal or minimal performer. Instead I heard many strong threads of the brotherhood of the rope. The employee was floundering and not doing what was expected. The employee was causing grief for his supervisors and seemed to have a complaint about everything. In this organization it is hard to remove someone so one strategy to deal with the issue is to move the person to another department.
But this was not the attitude or approach of the manager I was coaching. He was determined to help the employee. He contemplated a move not to remove the employee but to help the employee get moving.
The manager wanted to figure out what he could change or do differently to help the employee, and he was not prepared to give up on the employee even if the employee was ready to give up on himself.
You only reach a summit one step at a time and I saluted this manager’s willingness to keep taking constructive steps to bring the best out of this difficult employee. Although there were no public accolades for his effort, I told the manger I appreciated his caring and I would be thrilled to be managed by someone like him.
Knots
c cannon | Jan 25, 2007 | Reply
What a great metaphor for what needs to happen in our organizations. The shift in focus from weeding out the unwanted to providing appropriate support for the rest of the folks on the rope is right on! I truly believe that virtually no one wants to be mediocre. People will pitch in when they feel valued, and being supported and nurtured when you are going through a rough patch is certainly going to contribute positively to that feeling.
Dan | Jan 29, 2007 | Reply
David
Like you, I often teach coaching skills to managers. Your story reminds me so much of the many times when I have seen managers work very hard to help someone else. I find most managers very eager to learn how to not give up on other people precisely because they feel very responsible for them. In fact, they tend to blame themselves first if it isn’t easy to connect or to find a way into someone’s trust. This notion of “giving up on self” means that much of our work is about building confidence — building confidence in employees and associates, building confidence in ourselves. Trust and confidence seem deeply linked to me, trust being able to rely on another; confidence being able to rely on myself. As one who has climbed a few mountains, the one most important point was always the moment when someone, anyone, called for the rope. Most of us still have trouble with that moment. We’re prone to struggle along and alone, scared to call out!
zinger | Jan 29, 2007 | Reply
Dan,
I really appreciated your thoughtful comment on this post.
I feel that you have enriched the material and I didn’t even call for a rope. If I did, I would sure be comfortable knowing you are on the other end.
Trust is such an imporant part of the ropes twine!
Thank you.
David
Dan | Jan 30, 2007 | Reply
A high compliment, my friend. Thank you.
All the best.